After all these years

I worked to give us a life
better than our parents.
I never thought I’d
lose you in the process.

“Eternal Torment” (1939), Abdullah Muharraqi, Sharjah Arts Museum

I was hanging by a thread,
thinking I’m alone,
never letting you in
or close enough to break my fall.

Sorry, I couldn’t give you all of me,
I was trying to build you a home.
Blinded by ambition,
I couldn’t see that it was in you.

I spent years regretting the minutes I gave away
and growing old without your warmth.
I was too young and proud
to come back into your life,
but I’m old enough to know now
that pride won’t keep me warm at night.

Tell me, is it too late to come back
with flowers and a wishful heart?
Will you recognize me with all the lines
time drew around my longing eyes?

Will you welcome me into your arms
or hold the hurt of my absence against me?
I don’t have much to give you now,
but my heart’s no longer behind bars.

I never knew my way around words;
I held myself back from loving,
but I learned to speak through the years
because losing you was my defeat.

I can tell you now, my love,
if I’m allowed to call you that –
I miss your tenderness,
your sweet smile,
your kind heart,
and beautiful eyes.

I spend my days living in the past
cause I remember you’d hold me
even when I’d leave you behind.
You taught me tenderness,
how to smile and be kind.
You showed me the world
through your beautiful eyes.

I’m standing behind your door,
with my eyes closed,
hoping you still live here.
I’m praying to all the Gods
that no one stole your heart
after all these years.

Love, Alyazya

30 thoughts on “After all these years

  1. Excellent! A rare pouring out of sad emotions and regrets over the painful past, esp. the huge loss. The redeeming emotion is a will to mend and get back into the life of blissful togetherness. The flashback of all happy images is superb! Keep writing and sharing. Stay blessed!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. OMG! This is such a wonderful and brilliant poem! I will second Ashok’s comments! You had me with tears in my eyes while reading this!! What a moving and emotional poem with such sadness, regret and yet hope too. A perfect warning to pay attention to what is most important in one’s life and to do the things we think are hard or impossible to do so we don’t miss the true blessings in our lives! Bellissimo, My Dear Bellissimo!
    xoxox 😘💕💖🎁🌹

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I’m so happy I was able to deliver the emotions! I think it’s important that we don’t lose track of what’s important in life.

      I’ve read so many regret stories and the perspectives of matured men and women who understood what’s important in life a bit too late. We’re all young, reckless, and proud, and hence, I think it’s important for us to learn from our elders’ experiences.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you, Alyazya for this masterpiece!!! It is a Gold mine filled with gems of inspiration! Honestly, after reading thousands upon thousands of poems, I can tell you that – After All These Years is one of the very best poems I’ve ever read – so emotional and moving and touches on feelings so many of us have experienced! Robert Frost is my favorite poet and his – The Road Not Taken is his best and my favorite and now I shall have to put You and your – After All These Years in a tie with him!! You have blessed my heart with your words and this poem!!
    Please submit this to the very best publishers so that the rest of the world can read and feel your words touching their hearts too!!!

    xoxox 😘💕💖🎁🎁🌹🌹

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Oh, There is only One thing that could make the post of Your poem more perfect, in my opinion, and that would be for you to update this with an audio recording of you reciting this poem for us! Could You Please??? I would so dearly love to hear the voice of the poet reciting her words?? I’m sure if you took a vote of all who read this you would see that this request would be unanimous!! 😊😁😍😍

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey! Thank you for your suggestion ☺️ and I’m glad you liked it!

      I’ll keep that in mind, but as of now I am not willing to record my poems although it would help readers understand how they’re meant to be read.

      Given the story and perspective, it would only be appropriate for an older man to voice “After all these years.” ☺️☺️☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This poem is a WOW! Grief and love dancing forever on the head of a pin. A secret of life…hiding in plain sight.

    Grief is a way of loving what has slipped from view. Love is a way of grieving what has not yet done so. They need each other in order to be themselves. –Stephen Jenkinson

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy to hear that! Being able to transmit emotions through words is the beauty of storytelling ❤️ It means a lot to hear that I was successful in doing so

      Liked by 1 person

  6. I loved this! I think pride can be the sole reason for so many ruined relationships. I love how you were able to convey the regret and sorrow in the poem – felt so relatable. Great stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow! Reading this was very beautiful and very expressive to say at the least ! I also write poetry on my page and you have encouraged me to write work like this on my page, feel free to check it out! Have a great day !

    Liked by 1 person

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