Heart wide shut

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Alserkal Avenue

I can love you forever
As long as you’re with me when I close my eyes
I don’t have to let go
but I won’t move and neither will you

I’m willing to fight for you, but I’ll never let you know
’cause I’m at peace with superficial connections
feeding off the same old conversations
happy, away from the feelings

If I see you, I’ll say I don’t care, but I’d be lying
and if we speak, I’ll have nothing to say,
because you’ll see right through me

I don’t have the strength
I’m not brave enough
but I’ll have you know
I haven’t been alone since I met you

I still see your eyes looking into mine
how they wrinkle up when you smile
I still drown in the warmth of your skin
I go to sleep, and you’re there to greet me

I have all these options
begging to be chosen
maybe I should just let go
I say to myself
I beg myself
but every time, I give in
I scroll through messages
skip through images
to listen to your voice calling my name

I’m chained, but I found freedom in this loss
and sometimes, I wait ‘till the sun comes up
to feel like I’ve seen you face before I fall asleep

أحببتك حباً اعمى
اشد من برد الشتاء في الشمال و اكثر من عدد النجوم
لم يعثر على من يحتويه فامتد إلى أواخر الكون و احتضن خلق الله اجمعين
يعيش من بين دقات قلبي الرقيق في جسدٍ واهن
ينفخ في روحٍ هزمها الزمن ليعيش يوماً آخراً يرى فيه عيناك في خياله
حباً يصبح لينير قلبي و يمسي مظلم دنياي
قل لي لما أشكي اذ خانتني شكواي؟
لم اجد صدى لصوتي مِن مَنْ حولي
لم اجد صدى لصوتي من بين دقات قلبي
فأنا لست أنا.. أنا مجرد حبي لك

I worship this love
When we’re together, it’s a church of our own
When you touch me, I hear bells ring
Your voice is my sacred scripture
Lord, may he find a home in this heart until its final beat

Love, Alyazya

11 thoughts on “Heart wide shut

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