When the weather was most turbulent, I began to sink into my own thoughts. Perhaps, it was speaking to me, angered by my lack of self-care. After all, I’ve been distracting myself by stacking up my schedule with activities beyond my human capacity.
I’ve always been uncomfortable with solitude and slow movement, but yesterday I took a moment to myself. Sitting on the rocks by the sea, staring at the waves that move under the mercy of the wind. They crashed into the rocks and each time I thought to myself, does it hurt? Would the waters be the same if the wind was always present? I don’t know. Maybe, they’ll grow tired. Maybe, the rocks will crumble under the force.
I’m both the wind and water, blowing myself in every direction, hitting the rocks and backing up just to come crashing again. I never thought I’d get hurt in the process. If anything, I believed I was invincible, forever able to carry on, moving, breaking through everything that comes my way. I never thought I’d ever stop for anything, but my water was no longer able to handle my wind’s persistence.
It’s not a crime to take a moment for yourself, to heal, to reenergize, to breathe. Yet, our fast-paced world makes it seem like one. They say a few moments of peace don’t harm you, but a few moments of peace are a few moments wasted. I feel like if I don’t keep pushing forward, I’ll never be able to achieve what everyone else is. Perhaps, I’m the kind of person who needs to work twice as hard to get the same results as my peers. So, how will I be great if my body can’t cope with stress?