I’m hiding from the sun behind curtains that barely hold back the light as both of my worlds continue to collapse before me, but with everything going on all I can think about is “I don’t know how I feel about this anymore.”

The best thing I’ve learned is that everything we do is a choice – our wonders, doubts, and everything in between. No matter what we feel… because somehow our choices sculpt our feelings.

Sometimes we mess up and hurt others, or worse, we hurt ourselves, but we always go back to our true essence.

Other times, choices begin to color us grey.

I’m sad and hurt and confused, but I’m thankful for the choices I’ve made that make me refuse your choice to hurt me.


Love,  Alyazya

18 thoughts on “Choices

  1. We forget sadness is an emotion, the same as happiness. We cannot fully live one without the other. Allow yourself to feel sadness as natural as you allow yourself to feel happiness. The only way is through

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello Alyazya…

    I really appreciate your honesty and bravery. May I share a Biblical principle that had strengthened my life as a quadriplegic? It is a verse in James 1:2 – ‘Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds.’ The key word is “CONSIDER”. In other words, when I think about whatever situation I am in, I always focus on the Lord’s promises and choose JOY every time. I hope this encourages you.

    Anyway, I actually wrote an 8 part article titled “Where does my JOY come from?” I hope you would read it. Link is below…



  3. why is it sometimes so hard to get “out of our heads”? … to “just think good thoughts”? … because we are wired to seek what is familiar, and sometimes those damn thoughts have been playing on a loop for years, decades…there is safety in familiar. But there is freedom in choice. Choosing to change your thinking, change your story. Choosing to BE Love. Choosing to DO life with full abandon, engaged and with light.


    1. That’s true. I think the familairity of the feeling plays a huge role because everything else becomes alien to the point that sometimes you question the sencirity positive thoughts and feelings.


  4. Good writing, Alyazya.

    Our choices affect our feelings after we make a choice, but also our feelings at the time before we make a choice can affect what choice we’ll make.
    We need to know how we’re feeling before we make a choice so we can try to avoid making a choice that might hurt other people or ourselves.
    Sometimes we just can’t help how we feel at some moment but we need to use our mind and will to think before making a choice, before doing something that could much affect us or others in the near or far future. It doesn’t mean it will be easy to do that, but it’s better than the alternative.

    Thank you for sharing your writing with us all.


  5. Keep hope. Glad you know you have choices. Glory to God Alone, above…I agree with him. There is a definite back and forth relationship between our feelings and choices – one often sculpts the other. Hope you are okay:) My mom told me in a letter before she died, in part, “When you’re stumbling around in the darkness looking for the answer, remember, Love is always the answer.” Keep love, above all, and it will guide you. God loves you. Focus on Him and his truth, His son, Christ, and you will be saved. I have found freedom from so many prisons with His word. God bless You Alyazya, Happiness to you too, always! Holly


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