Guilty for two

Just so you know, you were the best one. I hope to meet you under another audacious condition, but for now, this heart is gone.


People come and go, this is how life is.
And I felt loved, with you, and everyone else
but you were my favorite temporary feeling.

I liked how your skin melted on my tongue
as we lived under blankets when we were young,
but your emotions transpired, and our adventures were done.
I may have lived in bliss, enchanted by asinine songs
about things, I’m too afraid to grab on my own, but I’ll admit,
for once, I couldn’t face your formidable honesty,
though I hope you can forgive mine.

I know you asked to be around a little longer
but I can’t give you a chance to come closer.
I’m sorry, I don’t want to say this again
but I told you from the start, I leave as I come.

Love,  Alyazya

52 thoughts on “Guilty for two

  1. If you loved him, then why? Are you afraid, or when his “emotions transpired” did he do something wring which you couldn’t forgive?

    Or was it just that you never really loved him in the first place?

    Either way, great writing, but now that you’ve exposed a glimpse of your heart, I’m curious about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You have an intriguing way of thought.

    In the interests of reciprocity…

    the color of time
    25 July 2018

    – – –

    I gesture a fruit fly
    away from my face
    I think: such a short lifespan
    like my own
    like humanity in total
    ignited match stick
    quick burn, smell of sulfur
    then darkness

    I watch the clouds roll over
    shoulders of these very old mountains
    like waves in a very old ocean
    still the playthings of Wind and Tide and Moon
    Always there, always fresh…
    but tiring under the inescapable:
    something is coming
    connecting all available dots feverishly, I remain blind

    when I held my newborn son in my arms
    I remember looking deep in his fresh,
    attempting-to-focus, eyes.
    who ARE you, I asked, aloud
    where do you come from?
    what are you here for?
    too many queries
    for an infant just freed from 23 hours of labor

    I recognized her from a distance
    flagged her from the kitchen window
    ran outside to invite her inside
    raining, a wet reminder of a humid July
    she was herself at once
    she was herself as always
    she was so briefly here
    then gone again into the mists of late eveningland

    asking the impossible I speak aloud and upwards, quietly
    to a night of a billion stars:
    why do the rivers flow and match strings of galaxies?
    roots of trees? capillaries in my eyes?
    why is everything I experience a pattern that repeats,
    yet I can’t find the edges to start dancing?
    please, I beg you:
    show me the color of time

    Liked by 2 people

  3. “I leave as I come”… literally in love. You are very talented and the emotions expressed on here hit home! Amazing contribution family, asè 🙏🏽


  4. Flat, eloquent, and terribly beautiful as that feeling of defining what an end is. Great work. You never show up in my stream although I double checked and made sure I am following you. I may have to resort to stalking.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. All I have to express in response to this awesomeness has been typed. They all beat me to it! Hat’s off to you with your magick to articulate into words what I cannot even make sense of in thought form. I’ll leave at that


  6. Hello Alyazya,
    I love your blog. Your words have a way of opening the heart, connecting us to the humanness we must accept.
    As my way of letting you know I appreciate you and your posts, I have nominated you for the Mystery Blogger Award. I hope you know there is no obligation to participate, but I do want to highlight this fact here.
    It is of course all voluntary.
    Sending you many good wishes and blessings!
    Michèle 🌸
    Here is the link with all the details:

    Liked by 1 person

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